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Your LJ Soap Opera
LJ Username Your spouse: empyThey'll have an affair with: empyYou'll have a retaliatory affair with: fangirl_lizzieYour rival: leggysloveWho will try to kill you? ladyjackylChance you'll survive till the end: - 35%
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guh

I do love looking at them... and listening to them... and watching them play...*stares*

Good G...

Good God, I'm tired.Work last night was a bitch, just an utter bottom-feeding, bitch. I'm so tired, I can't even think of words to describe it correctly.Have been waiting for it to get light enough so I can drive home and take care of my dogs. Driving in anything less than full light is dangerous around here because of the damn deer. I'm so tired, I don't know if I can make it the 40 miles it takes to get home... but I have to. Rocky and Stella need to go outside, need to eat breakfast... and then I can just melt away into my lovely bed... Lucky for me, stewardess wrote a smooookin' Hoot/Todd fic. That will give me something nice to think about on the drive home. *happy sigh*I'm wondering about the possibility of seeing a head Dr about my paranoia issues. Things are starting to get out of control.Need to book plane tickets to NC so I can go to court in Sept and put that bastard away for the rest of his natural life... and then some. He's looking at about 130 years, I think. The District Attorney of Moore County in North Carolina kicks ass, just so you know. *nods* Of course, this means another week off work... am somewhat looking forward to going to NC. I mean, court isn't going to be fun by any means, but it's not the first time I've had to go to court and put a violent criminal in prison for a long time. At the same time, I'll be able to see some of my friends in NC that I haven't seen since I left, that will be nice... I miss them. See, this is worrying me too. How can I swing from "ew court" to "yay friends" all in the same thought? I don't just mean that particular example either. I'm talking, my whole life is like that. I'm so easily distracted, it's not even funny. Am I too reactive to outside influences? I can be on top of the world one moment and pissed off, hurt, or freaked out in the next... and visa-verse. If I'm upset, it's pretty easy to make me laugh and forget about it for awhile. Is that normal? It's the least of my worries right now, to be honest, but something that's been bugging me for awhile too. Back to my paranoia. I need to do something about it. Things are weirding me out that shouldn't... thoughts of imaginary conversations running through my head until I'm convinced they are real... Damnit. I AM NOT CRAZY.I'm tired. The sun is up, I have to go take care of my dogs now.

*wibbles*

*pets the pretty* *wibbles more*

I feel li...

I feel like a dick.

I love .... (idea stolen from spooks)

my God; being woken in the morning by Stella licking my nose and snuffeling happily into my ear; hugs from Perttu; knowing that I've beaten the lure of Mt Dew forever; riding horses with my Mom on a breezy summer day in Kansas with the wide open sky above and seeing not a single sign of civilization for miles around; Apocalyptica's music; going to concerts; my brother home from the war; seeing my nephews run at me with open arms and smiles just for me; reading Apofic; unexpected phone calls from internet friends; the internet; my friends that I've gained from all over the world because of the internet; traveling overseas; my country; seeing my 23 year old mare run and play like a young colt again; watching my almost 11 year old boxer, Rocky, bounce around the house like a puppy; seeing baby horses run just for the sheer joy of it; my life; my family; taking walks with Rocky and Stella on a nice evening; Stella curling up next to my belly under the blankets at night just before I fall asleep to the sound of Conclusion by Apocalyptica.

eeeeeeeeeeek!

I cannot resist the lure of the poll...What's on your bedside table?I don't have oneWhat is the geekiest part of your music collection?Kiss - The ElderWhat do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?I usually take a swig off the milk jugWhat is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?The Black Stallion... at the end... when they are running... or SeabiscuitDo you have a completely irrational fear?trees and dolls. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?blushing. I turn BRIGHT red quite easily ... and I start giggling when I'm nervousDo you ever have to beg?Occasionally.Are you a pyromaniac?No.Do you have too many love interests?No.Do you know anyone famous?hmmm...well, I know the father of two pretty famous guys that happen to be professional athletes and I've met his sons on several occasions... and I've met a few other famous people and spoke to one on the phone... and no, I'm not telling.Describe your bed.Full sized. 4 pillows. 2 comforters.Spontaneous or plan?Both. I love to make plans but being spontaneous is a lot more fun.Who should play you in a movie about your life?MeDo you know how to play poker?noWhat do you carry with you at all times?wallet... knife... Apo necklace and if I'm traveling any distance alone, my pistolHow do you drive?I obey the traffic laws, I know how to work a 4 way stop sign and I always pay attention to other cars around me... and I NEVER talk on a cell phone while driving.What do you miss most about being little?going to my Grandma's farmAre you happy with your given name?eh.. it's alrightHow much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?no one can count that highWhat color is your bedroom?White ceiling, pale beige walls... fugly carpetWhat was the last song you were listening to?Live version Path by ApocalypticaHave you ever been in a play?Yeah, I was one of the old ladies in Arsenic and Old Lace in High SchoolWho are your best friends?I have lots of really great friends. I don't favor any of them over another. but if I have to list one, I'd say my brother because he knows more about me than anyone.Have you ever been in love?yeahDo you talk a lot?depends on who I am with and what mood I'm inDo you like yourself and believe in yourself?for the most part, yesHave you ever done any illegal drugs?YesssDo you think you're cute?Hell noDo poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?it variesDo you consider yourself to be a nice person?yesDo you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?No boyfriend, so friends. What is your ideal marriage location?a churchWhich musical instrument do you wish you could play?CelloFavorite fabric?denimWhat kind of bedding do you use?down filled comfortersWhat kind of soap do you use?Arbonne body wash. It's AMAZING stuff.What's the one language you want to learn?Minä haluan oppia suomea! = I want to learn Finnish!What do you order at a bar?water or sodaHave you ever pierced your body parts?my ears twice but never wear any.... my tongue... my right eyebrow and my lebret (below my lower lip in the center) they've all grown shut now.Do you have tattoos?yes. three. Right thigh, right top of arm and right side of my skullWould you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?if I had done it, I would admit it if askedWhat's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done?I made a banner on a white sheet and hauled it across the ocean to display at a concert in Amsterdam that said "PERTTU! SOITA ALASTI!" which mean, Perttu! Play Naked. Antero and Paavo saw it and nearly toppled out of their chairs in the middle of the show.Do you drive stick?yes and I love itWhat's one trait you hate in a person?cruelty to animalsWhat kind of watch(es) do you wear?don't wear oneMost frivolous purchase?I bought a horse at a sale, when I probably shouldn't have. Do you consider yourself materialistic?well, if you call buying everything I see with Apocalyptica or Metallica written on it "materialistic" then yes.What do you cook the best?I can make some good spaghetti and sauce with ground venisonFavorite writing instrument?keyboardDo you prefer to stand out or blend in?depends on who and where and what. I usually end up standing out.Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?I do all the time.What's one car you will never buy?a geoHave you ever done drugs?yesssWhat kind of books do you like to read?anything that's written wellIf you won the lottery, what would you do first?faint. then build my mom a new house on her farmland... put up a nice barn for our horses and new fencing... then buy plane tickets to Helsinki. Burial or cremation?burialHow many online journals do you read regularly?a fewWhat's one thing you're a sore loser at?I'm not a sore loser, I'm quite used to it.If you don't like a person, how do you show it?I don't speak to themDo you cry in front of friends?I prefer to cry alone but I have occasionally cried in front of friends.What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?a few people have told me that at first glance, I'm intimidating. o.OWhat's one thing you prefer to do alone?almost everything. I'm very much a secluded personWhat's the worst thing you ever said to someone?when I was young and stupid, I told a lawyer that I didn't think my Mom was a very good mother. :( I wish I hadn't. When's the last time you cried?28 June 2004Favorite communication method?internet... it's free! well, a hell of a lot cheaper than a phone billWhat is one thing you don't leave home without?walletWhat's the most painful experience you've ever had?my son dyingCan you type with your eyes closed?yesCan you ski?noCan you speak in sign language?noCan you do the butterfly stroke?noCan you say the alphabet backwards effortlessly?not effortlesslyCan you tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue?No. Can you run a mile in under ten minutes?HELL NOCan you stand the sight of blood?yepCan you read palms or tarot cards?No.Can you admit it when you're wrong?Yes. But I try not to be.Can you ask for help when you need it?Yes.Can you tie a necktie?I don't knowCan you successfully pierce someone's ear?I don't knowCan you play soccer?noCan you sing?I *can* but it sounds awfulCan you name three kinds of clouds?No.Can you make a joke out of anything?Depends on the mood.Can you perform CPR on another human?NoDo you know what CPR stands for?no.Can you read minds?No, but I'm pretty decent at reading expressions.Can you write better poetry than Shakespeare?No.Can you speak more than one language?No.Do you know karate?No. Can you freestyle?freestyle what? Reining? Dressage? I don't know.

Terve

Ok, so it's been awhile since I wrote anything... and I do mean *any*-fucking-thing. I have so many WIP's going, I feel like I'm never going to get them all done. I need to just sit down and start writing. NOW!*moment of silence, with the exception of my mother's birds chirping in the background and my dogs slurping up water.*I'm bored stiff. My back hurts too much for me to do anything really constructive and I'm panicking because I can't work until my back is all better... which means I can't make money to save for my trip to Finland/London/Holland/Germany next year.*panics*On a good note, since I've been at home, I've been able to motivate Mom into starting one of the, as yet, unrideable horses. Treasure is now officially "Started under saddle". She has had three rides, three days in a row and is doing very well. Normally, I would be the one crawling up on her for the first time but that's not a good idea with the current state of my back. Does anyone know where I can get a new spine? Literally, I mean. Anyway, progress is going very good with the horses. Mom has done a fantastic job training her colt, Saint and I think she's finally found HER riding horse. Great! Now I can have mine back! lol Honestly though, she did a really good job with mine too. I'm proud of her. Go Mom! :)The weather here is messing with my head. We had a few weeks of 80-100 degree weather and yesterday it started raining. Now, it's cold! It can't be more than 60 degrees outside and so wet. The ground is soggy. Yuck.My dog, Rocky, is angry with me. I gave him a bath and soaked his feet in bleach water. Hopefully that will kill whatever it is in his feet that is making him gnaw on them. His poor toes are all swollen and raw. Hopefully, the bleach water will do the trick, or it's back to the vet, again, for more tests and such. Back to my WIP's. *SIGH*I have the Todd/Hoot BHD fic I've started. Then there is the sequal to Ja Niin Se Alkoi that I have no idea why I wrote and pretty much have abandoned.And THEN, there's the pic challenge that I'm supposed to be writing with Alexis. I had this plot idea and I told her about it. She went CRAAAZY over it and I told her she was welcome to write it. She insists that I have to help. *sobs* why?? She's about a zillion times better writer than I am... and besides, I don't even really like to write! I much prefer reading but sometimes these plot rats just appear from thin air and start harrassing me until I cave and write something anyway. I'm so weak. If I don't write another chapter of Something Wicked and post it soon, I'm gonna get kicked off of the list, I'm thinking. I'm scared to see how far beyond dues I am. Right, must work on that one first, I don't want to get the big boot in the ass.Nähdään myöhemmin!

*staring at clock in horror*

It's nearly 6am and I haven't slept yet. Of course, I work at night, typically, so it makes sense that I don't sleep much on my nights off, but I have to take my horse to the vet at 10am. It's an hour drive and, depending on how willing she is to get in the trailer with only me there to coax her in, well, it could be a long morning.*eyes glaze over* Soon I shall take a shower. First, I need to gather the energy to do so.I'm so out of practice for writing. I have a sex scene to finish and while it's all playing out beautifully in my mind, my fingers are suddenly afflicted with idiocy and inability to translate pictures into words. Maybe I should chop them off...I think I have pnemonia. In fact, I'm pretty sure I do. Breathing has become difficult. Especially taking deep breaths. It's slightly painful and I can feel my heart take off when my brain realizes I can't breathe. Instant panic attack for about 5 seconds until I can relax enough to remember to breathe shallow and slow. Who gets pnemonia when it's 100 degrees outside? I'm surrounded by plot rats of various fandoms and they're all gnawing at my ankles. This can't be good.ok, the sun is now crossing over the horizon. A nap is in order.

*stabstompshootdie*

I hate my job. No, wait. That's not completely true. I love the people I care for. I love getting to know them. I hate the political bullshit that goes with it. I hate the utter humiliation of telling people where I work and their reply being "Oh yeah, I read about that place in the paper. They lost their MEDICARE Coverage." I've been there a grand total of 2 months now and we are already being threatened with being shut down because a few people have their heads so far up each other's asses they can't breathe properly anymore. 18 people are moving out of the nursing home in the next few weeks. EIGHTEEN. Apparently the state came through when I was home having my allergic, wtf is happening to me, reaction to lydocain (sp) so I missed all the excitement. Final results? Up to 17 violations. SEVENTEEN! Almost all of them involving paperwork done by LPN's or RN's. Falsifying documents, etc...What a clusterfuck.Then, this morning, this completely bitter, hateful and impossible to please BITCH comes in and starts claiming that no one is taking care of the residents right. That we aren't making sure they are clean, we're not turning them in bed, we're not doing a damn thing all night.Oh. I'm sorry. I guess that two 55 gallon barrels of pissed on sheets just magically appeared overnight! I looked at her and said, "huh. I wonder where I was when I was supposedly not working." I ran my ass off last night. Hell, we do every night, but we're "not doing anything." You know, what a hateful and nasty thing to say to someone who's been run ragged all night long because the state, in all their wisdom has decided that it's better for people to be able to fall out of bed on their head "because it's their choice to". God forbid we do anything to PREVENT them from falling because "that's restraining them from doing what they want". Oh yes, we are evil people for trying to prevent broken bones.I hate this line of work. I really do. I hate the bullshit politics, I hate working for a bunch of backstabbing, two faced, lying women who don't have enough drama in their life so they do all they can to stir up shit at work.I should have stayed with the carnival.

a fic!

*squeee* Title: The Opportune MomentAuthor: Nen-RekhRating: NC-17Disclaimer: This didn't happen. This is fiction. I gain nothing. No harm or foul intended towards anyone.Summary: Eicca realizes his chance is at hand************1.You know how they say you can find anything on the internet? Boy, were they right! Search engines are cool, you type something in and sometimes you get the oddest results. For instance, I went to google.com, typed in the name of my band, 'Apocalyptica', clicked the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button and found the strangest thing....Have you ever heard of something called "slash"? I hadn't, until today... Ok, I take that back, I'm familiar with the feeling and idea of having sex, or making love, with another man, but I didn't know that people write such fantasies and then posted them on the internet!Boy, do I feel out of the loop. After my initial shock at seeing my name with Perttu's involved in a most interesting plot, I realized it was the answer to my prayers.How does one go about revealing their deepest, darkest, most hidden secret to the very reason for the secret? For a long time, I have been in love with Perttu. I'm talking deep, scare me shitless, love. If we lived anywhere but here, maybe it would be easier, but this is Finland. Men just aren't openly gay, hell, two men hugging has people raising their eyebrows. So, how do I tell Perttu that I want to strip him naked and do all sorts of lewd and lustful things to his body? He's my best friend, my bandmate and the one person on this earth I love more than anything. I don't even know if he's gay. I mean, he doesn't have a girlfriend that I've noticed, but who the hell has time for one? We're so busy with the band, plus our 'other' jobs, there just isn't enough hours in a day for anything else.Back to the point. I love Perttu and haven't had the guts or found the right way to tell him. Nights I've spent, laying awake and staring at the ceiling, wishing for a sign.Well, my agony has come to an end, I've found a way to tell him without him even knowing! Yippy! Who the fuck is Nen-Rekh? Nice name, exotic and completely incognito. It's perfect.I finish reading the story, somewhat dismayed to find that it's not complete. I bookmark the site and spend a few moments reading our phorum before executing my plan. Once complete, I sit back, grinning. A touch of guilt goes through me, thinking of the person that actually wrote the story. I hope they aren't a regular poster on the phorum, they might be pissed at me stealing their story and identity.*******************Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe, the real Nen-Rekh is awoken by the telephone and is promptly in the throes of an anxiety attack when learning the recent events that have taken place on the Apocalyptica phorum.*******************2. I'm in the kitchen, elbow deep in flour, oils and other assorted ingredients, when Perttu comes barreling through my front door the day after I began a life of crime. What? You've never heard of identity theft? I'm concentrating on making dinner when the front door flies open and slams against the wall. Flour poofs everywhere when I jump, the shit nearly scared completely out of me."Eicca! Have you seen the phorum?" He's shrieking at me, hands flapping in the air.Oh shit. This is not a good time for me... I pull my face into a look of confusion, peering at him through the flour cloud as though he's the crazy one here."Do I look like I have time to check the phorum? Look at this mess!" He just blinks at me, at the disaster I've made of my kitchen. "Good God, Eicca, what are you making?"Hoping he's been effectively distracted, it doesn't usually take much after all, I scowl at him. "Nothing. Now leave me alone, I'm busy!" I almost laugh in relief when he turns away. Yes! Mission accomplisssshhhh...shit. He's coming back. "Wait! You have to see the phorum! Look at what someone posted!" Fuck! "Ok ok,... keep your pantyhose on." May as well get this over with. I wash my hands, clear up to my armpits, and my face. I told you I made a hell of a mess. I look at him when I'm clean and shoo him to the computer, making a show over how annoyed I am when, in reality, I think I'm about to puke. "Well, show me whatever it is you want to show me."He bounds over to my desk, flipping the damn thing on and taps his fingers impatiently as it boots. Yammering like an idiot the whole time. "There was this post, someone new, I've never seen their name before, but they posted from Finland, I know that much. The subject line said something like "Eicca and Perttu: the beginning of their story" or some such shit. I was like, 'what the fuck?' and opened it and there was this link that took me to a story. Oh My God, Eicca. You would never believe what it was! I read it, than ran right over here. Here, sit down, read this." I'm shoved into my chair, the page he brings up blinks to rapid life on my screen. I hope he doesn't notice that the loading time is so fast. I curse at myself for not clearing my history. Oh, he's still babbling at me. "Someone has a really wild imagination, Eicca. I can't believe someone would write this and post it on the phorum!"I'm pretending to read the screen, my thoughts in a whirlwind trying to gauge his reaction. He doesn't seem really upset or pissed or disgusted but he doesn't seem too thrilled with it either. I think the shock is over-riding everything else. How do I play this? Be cool? Shocked? Horrified? Damn, I wish I had thought this far ahead. Ok, scroll down, read it... look mystified...Soon, I'm engrossed in the story and find myself nearly panting and shifting in my seat as I image Perttu in the shower, jerking himself off to thoughts of me. My hand strays to ease the pressure in my pants. Damn, it's hot in here...suddenly I realize he's reading over my shoulder! I literally feel my face flushing as I snatch my hand away from my crotch."Eicca!" Oh shit. Vittu. Fuck. Paskat. He saw me. "Don't tell me you actually got excited by that!" I swear, if my head gets any redder, it's going to blow off."Ok, I won't." My eyes pop open in horror when I realize what's just come out of my mouth. I did NOT mean to say that! Oh God, help me. Please?3.Alas, it was not to be. No great chasm came to swallow me and my shame. Lightning didn't smite me dead and a tidal wave, unfortunatly, didn't come to sweep me away. Damnit!So, I got the unmitigated joy of watching Perttu's face go through a number of expressions. Blank stare... disbelief... shock... lots of rapid blinking... Under any other circumstance, it would have been amusing to see. He's really quite expressive when he's been rendered speechless, but right now I'm too paralyzed with my own shame to enjoy the show.Instead, I blush. I can feel it, going clear up to my hair. You think Perttu's ears go red? You've obviously never seen mine go up in flames. I wonder if my hair is getting singed yet."Eicca?" I paused in my sniffing the air for the scent of burnt hair to look up at him."Huh?" Oh jeez. He's got this look on his face... it scares me to be honest. I feel his hand touch my shoulder, squeeze, then travel down and across my chest. I'm staring, unable to move, my brain long shorted out from the stress. Hell, we all know it's been AWOL since before I posted that fucking story. So, here I sit, with my bandmate, the lust of my life, feeling me up and smirking down at me like he's going to eat me for dinner and make me like it. Oh please God, yes.His fingers reach the waistband of my jeans and I swear there's going to be a jailbreak from my pants any minute now. I can't help tightening my stomach, pulling in and hoping he'll delve deeper. Please please please touch me. My eyes drift shut."I am touching you." I feel Perttu's breath against my hair.Oh God, I said that out loud? That's it, my life is... what did he say?I look up at him through the haze of lust before my eyes. Strange, but he looks quite content to be here, touching me. Am I dreaming? Hallucinating? Maybe I've had some bizarre kitchen accident that's knocked me out and I'm making all this up. Where am I? Mother? Where's my Mommy?Insistant fingers slide into my jeans, tease over the head of my cock and I forget any thoughts at all about any relatives of mine. Where ever they are, I hope it's far, far away!Suddenly, I'm free of my jeans, his hand wrapped completely around my length as he strokes me slowly. My head falls back, colliding with his shoulder, as I arch into his touch. Ohhhh God... "Read it." "Huh?" Oh, I'm so articulate! "The story... read it to me." I stare blindly at the screen, trying desperately to get my eyes to focus properly. Finally, I find the words and begin to read, my voice shaking as I stutter."His soap-slicked hand found his erection. He braced his free arm against the shower wall, his forehead resting on it. Perttu watched his fingers wrap around his straining cock, the purpled head beaded with pre-cum. As he brought his hand slowly up and back down, he thought of Eicca, imagined him here, his large frame curled behind him. Protecting him... wanting him. He could almost feel Eicca's arms sliding around him. Eicca's hand touching him, fingers twining with his own. Eicca's lips nibbling across his shoulder, up his neck before whispering in his ear."I'm panting now, unable to keep myself from jerking my hips. Fuck... fuck! His hand is gripping me tighter now, the strokes taking on purpose and rhythm. Yes... make me come Perttu... please... Oh fuck, he's whispering in my ear, his lips grazing over the sensative skin. "You like that, Eicca? You want to fuck me in a shower? You want me to jerk off while thinking of you?" Am I supposed to answer that? Someone, anyone, give me a clue! I can't do anything but watch my cock fuck through his fist. Reality is turning out to be so much better than my fantasies. Almost there... Fuck! He's slowing down... no no no... please keep going... don't stop!Again, he's whispering. "Do you, Eicca? Do you want me to fantasize about you? Answer me, or you don't get off."Oh God, why? Why me? His fingers are tracing over my length, the tips of them plucking at the head, following the ridge and underside to my balls then back again. Mini-me is twitching and jerking, begging for more. Vittu, the sight of it is so hot...A high pitched keening sound squeezes past my throat and, desperate for him to finish me, I relent and nod. "Yes."He chuckles against my hair. Thinking I've been had, I'm about two seconds from belting him in the mouth when he renews his grip on my cock and, resumes stroking me, harder and faster than before. My eyes cross, hands gripping the arms of my computer chair as I brace back, preparing to blow the roof right off. I'm so wrapped up in what I'm feeling that I don't notice any changes until it's too late.Suddenly, his lips are pressed against mine but gone again before I can respond. Still reeling, I hear his voice again, low and throaty in my ear. "I do think about you, Eicca. Every time I make myself come, I say your name." Oh God. Oh my fucking sweet God. Just the thought.... Suddenly, I'm coming. Wet heat is wrapped snugly around the head of my cock and I watch through crossed eyes as Perttu sucks me dry. Oh fuck! Oh vittu! My right hand goes to his hair, clasping the back of his head as I drive deeper into his mouth. When I finally come back to earth, I look down to see Perttu sitting back on his heels, watching me with an amused expression."You ok?" I try to laugh but the sound that erupts from me is more like that of a choking mule. "Yeah, just peachy. Great. Fantastic."He laughs at me. The little fucker actually laughs.I should send this Nen-Rekh person a thank you card.THE END

bad dog!

my 4 yo nephew David was attacked by my Mom's dog, Panda. I woke up to someone screaming bloody murder and when I opened my door, a very freaked out Stella flung herself in my lap. When I went into the bathroom, where the screams were coming from, I found my stepdad cleaning up David's face. I asked him what happened and he said that Panda attacked David. I asked why and he said that Panda was lying on the floor when David tripped over her. She attacked his face. He has two punctures, one on his cheek, near his top lip and another under his bottom lip. Plus, two scratches VERY close to his eye. He's very lucky.I said, "Well, Panda and I are going outside then." Called the vet to make sure Panda was up to date on rabies, which she was. (She wasn't my dog, I didn't know for sure) Called David's mom and asked about medical coverage, told her what happened. She said she was going to kill that dog and I told her it was too late. Anyway, David is fine. Took him to town to the ER and he was very calm thru the whole thing. He kept telling everyone how brave he is and how he was ok. lol I kept him distracted by practising counting in Finnish, (which he's doing quite well in) Panda wasn't old, only 4 years old. She was a Lab/GSD/Chow/Pit Bull and possibly Husky mix. She had a quick, painless death, far less painful than the bites on David's face. The good thing is, David's not afraid of Rocky or Stella. They've been glued to him ever since we returned home and he's been hugging on them and playing. *whew* Deby

help. me.

Monday, I had the Norplant that was in my arm removed. It was supposed to be a real minor thing. I had Norplant put into my arm after Troy was born in 1993. It was due to come out in 1998 but I never got around to it, just left it there. Finally, I had it taken out on 19 April. Was supposed to go in, leave and work that night. Did that happen? Oh no....Apparently, I had a bad reaction to the Lidocaine (sp?) they used to numb my arm. It put me completely out! I felt myself passing out, it was like in slow motion and I said something like, "I feel light headed..." and suddenly, I couldn't talk anymore. Everything went fuzzy and then black. I could kind of hear people talking, but I couldn't figure out what they were saying and I couldn't talk at all. Suddenly, I hear, "Deby? Deeeebyyyy....?" and I managed to pry my eyes open. I peered up at her and said, "huh?" She asked me if I was ok and I said, "I'm hungry."It messed me up. Even now, my head still feels like it's flying in the clouds and in pieces and my arms and legs don't feel like they are attached anymore. Everything feels and looks weird. I ended up staying at the Dr's office almost 2 hours before they would let me leave. The nurse said that when I passed out, they thought I was getting ready to go into seizures because my eyes rolled back and I got all weird. They about put me on my head to get the blood back to my brain but when I woke up, I couldn't tell how I was laying. It's like my body was numb. Didn't work Monday night or Tuesday night because of how much it messed me up and I still don't feel right. They did manage to take the Norplant out of my arm and, after seeing them, I think I should have just let them stay in! My arm hurts too, where they cut me open and took them out. Everytime I sat down Tuesday, I'd fall asleep in a real surreal daze. Not at all restful. I'm exhausted and I constantly feel like I'm going to heave up my toenails. Very strange reaction! WARNING!! WARNING!!This is where it gets gross...Basically, I have the shits from hell. Pure stomach acid. It's gone on all week, but only once every few hours. Now it's a several times an hour and I feel like I'm going to start puking at the same time. :( I hate this. *pouts* I need pity! I need sympathy! I need an ice cube to sit on, my ass is on FIRE!waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa