bwahaha

Your LJ Soap Opera
LJ Username Your spouse: empyThey'll have an affair with: empyYou'll have a retaliatory affair with: fangirl_lizzieYour rival: leggysloveWho will try to kill you? ladyjackylChance you'll survive till the end: - 35%
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guh

I do love looking at them... and listening to them... and watching them play...*stares*

Good G...

Good God, I'm tired.Work last night was a bitch, just an utter bottom-feeding, bitch. I'm so tired, I can't even think of words to describe it correctly.Have been waiting for it to get light enough so I can drive home and take care of my dogs. Driving in anything less than full light is dangerous around here because of the damn deer. I'm so tired, I don't know if I can make it the 40 miles it takes to get home... but I have to. Rocky and Stella need to go outside, need to eat breakfast... and then I can just melt away into my lovely bed... Lucky for me, stewardess wrote a smooookin' Hoot/Todd fic. That will give me something nice to think about on the drive home. *happy sigh*I'm wondering about the possibility of seeing a head Dr about my paranoia issues. Things are starting to get out of control.Need to book plane tickets to NC so I can go to court in Sept and put that bastard away for the rest of his natural life... and then some. He's looking at about 130 years, I think. The District Attorney of Moore County in North Carolina kicks ass, just so you know. *nods* Of course, this means another week off work... am somewhat looking forward to going to NC. I mean, court isn't going to be fun by any means, but it's not the first time I've had to go to court and put a violent criminal in prison for a long time. At the same time, I'll be able to see some of my friends in NC that I haven't seen since I left, that will be nice... I miss them. See, this is worrying me too. How can I swing from "ew court" to "yay friends" all in the same thought? I don't just mean that particular example either. I'm talking, my whole life is like that. I'm so easily distracted, it's not even funny. Am I too reactive to outside influences? I can be on top of the world one moment and pissed off, hurt, or freaked out in the next... and visa-verse. If I'm upset, it's pretty easy to make me laugh and forget about it for awhile. Is that normal? It's the least of my worries right now, to be honest, but something that's been bugging me for awhile too. Back to my paranoia. I need to do something about it. Things are weirding me out that shouldn't... thoughts of imaginary conversations running through my head until I'm convinced they are real... Damnit. I AM NOT CRAZY.I'm tired. The sun is up, I have to go take care of my dogs now.

*wibbles*

*pets the pretty* *wibbles more*

I feel li...

I feel like a dick.

I love .... (idea stolen from spooks)

my God; being woken in the morning by Stella licking my nose and snuffeling happily into my ear; hugs from Perttu; knowing that I've beaten the lure of Mt Dew forever; riding horses with my Mom on a breezy summer day in Kansas with the wide open sky above and seeing not a single sign of civilization for miles around; Apocalyptica's music; going to concerts; my brother home from the war; seeing my nephews run at me with open arms and smiles just for me; reading Apofic; unexpected phone calls from internet friends; the internet; my friends that I've gained from all over the world because of the internet; traveling overseas; my country; seeing my 23 year old mare run and play like a young colt again; watching my almost 11 year old boxer, Rocky, bounce around the house like a puppy; seeing baby horses run just for the sheer joy of it; my life; my family; taking walks with Rocky and Stella on a nice evening; Stella curling up next to my belly under the blankets at night just before I fall asleep to the sound of Conclusion by Apocalyptica.

eeeeeeeeeeek!

I cannot resist the lure of the poll...What's on your bedside table?I don't have oneWhat is the geekiest part of your music collection?Kiss - The ElderWhat do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?I usually take a swig off the milk jugWhat is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?The Black Stallion... at the end... when they are running... or SeabiscuitDo you have a completely irrational fear?trees and dolls. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?blushing. I turn BRIGHT red quite easily ... and I start giggling when I'm nervousDo you ever have to beg?Occasionally.Are you a pyromaniac?No.Do you have too many love interests?No.Do you know anyone famous?hmmm...well, I know the father of two pretty famous guys that happen to be professional athletes and I've met his sons on several occasions... and I've met a few other famous people and spoke to one on the phone... and no, I'm not telling.Describe your bed.Full sized. 4 pillows. 2 comforters.Spontaneous or plan?Both. I love to make plans but being spontaneous is a lot more fun.Who should play you in a movie about your life?MeDo you know how to play poker?noWhat do you carry with you at all times?wallet... knife... Apo necklace and if I'm traveling any distance alone, my pistolHow do you drive?I obey the traffic laws, I know how to work a 4 way stop sign and I always pay attention to other cars around me... and I NEVER talk on a cell phone while driving.What do you miss most about being little?going to my Grandma's farmAre you happy with your given name?eh.. it's alrightHow much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?no one can count that highWhat color is your bedroom?White ceiling, pale beige walls... fugly carpetWhat was the last song you were listening to?Live version Path by ApocalypticaHave you ever been in a play?Yeah, I was one of the old ladies in Arsenic and Old Lace in High SchoolWho are your best friends?I have lots of really great friends. I don't favor any of them over another. but if I have to list one, I'd say my brother because he knows more about me than anyone.Have you ever been in love?yeahDo you talk a lot?depends on who I am with and what mood I'm inDo you like yourself and believe in yourself?for the most part, yesHave you ever done any illegal drugs?YesssDo you think you're cute?Hell noDo poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?it variesDo you consider yourself to be a nice person?yesDo you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?No boyfriend, so friends. What is your ideal marriage location?a churchWhich musical instrument do you wish you could play?CelloFavorite fabric?denimWhat kind of bedding do you use?down filled comfortersWhat kind of soap do you use?Arbonne body wash. It's AMAZING stuff.What's the one language you want to learn?Minä haluan oppia suomea! = I want to learn Finnish!What do you order at a bar?water or sodaHave you ever pierced your body parts?my ears twice but never wear any.... my tongue... my right eyebrow and my lebret (below my lower lip in the center) they've all grown shut now.Do you have tattoos?yes. three. Right thigh, right top of arm and right side of my skullWould you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?if I had done it, I would admit it if askedWhat's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done?I made a banner on a white sheet and hauled it across the ocean to display at a concert in Amsterdam that said "PERTTU! SOITA ALASTI!" which mean, Perttu! Play Naked. Antero and Paavo saw it and nearly toppled out of their chairs in the middle of the show.Do you drive stick?yes and I love itWhat's one trait you hate in a person?cruelty to animalsWhat kind of watch(es) do you wear?don't wear oneMost frivolous purchase?I bought a horse at a sale, when I probably shouldn't have. Do you consider yourself materialistic?well, if you call buying everything I see with Apocalyptica or Metallica written on it "materialistic" then yes.What do you cook the best?I can make some good spaghetti and sauce with ground venisonFavorite writing instrument?keyboardDo you prefer to stand out or blend in?depends on who and where and what. I usually end up standing out.Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?I do all the time.What's one car you will never buy?a geoHave you ever done drugs?yesssWhat kind of books do you like to read?anything that's written wellIf you won the lottery, what would you do first?faint. then build my mom a new house on her farmland... put up a nice barn for our horses and new fencing... then buy plane tickets to Helsinki. Burial or cremation?burialHow many online journals do you read regularly?a fewWhat's one thing you're a sore loser at?I'm not a sore loser, I'm quite used to it.If you don't like a person, how do you show it?I don't speak to themDo you cry in front of friends?I prefer to cry alone but I have occasionally cried in front of friends.What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?a few people have told me that at first glance, I'm intimidating. o.OWhat's one thing you prefer to do alone?almost everything. I'm very much a secluded personWhat's the worst thing you ever said to someone?when I was young and stupid, I told a lawyer that I didn't think my Mom was a very good mother. :( I wish I hadn't. When's the last time you cried?28 June 2004Favorite communication method?internet... it's free! well, a hell of a lot cheaper than a phone billWhat is one thing you don't leave home without?walletWhat's the most painful experience you've ever had?my son dyingCan you type with your eyes closed?yesCan you ski?noCan you speak in sign language?noCan you do the butterfly stroke?noCan you say the alphabet backwards effortlessly?not effortlesslyCan you tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue?No. Can you run a mile in under ten minutes?HELL NOCan you stand the sight of blood?yepCan you read palms or tarot cards?No.Can you admit it when you're wrong?Yes. But I try not to be.Can you ask for help when you need it?Yes.Can you tie a necktie?I don't knowCan you successfully pierce someone's ear?I don't knowCan you play soccer?noCan you sing?I *can* but it sounds awfulCan you name three kinds of clouds?No.Can you make a joke out of anything?Depends on the mood.Can you perform CPR on another human?NoDo you know what CPR stands for?no.Can you read minds?No, but I'm pretty decent at reading expressions.Can you write better poetry than Shakespeare?No.Can you speak more than one language?No.Do you know karate?No. Can you freestyle?freestyle what? Reining? Dressage? I don't know.